• Tell me I’m insensitive
• Tell me that I need to be more emotionally available
• Wake me up at 5:30 am to tell me about a dream you had
• Tell me not to go to the club, because you’re not comfortable with it
• Make it clear that you’re not comfortable with me talking to guys
• Are unnecessarily clingy
• Tell me that you think you love me after two weeks
• Jizz in your pants

I WILL dump you.