: Archive

Apr 13th

301 notes

It’s 2:08 am. I’m not tired. My eye is swollen from Amanda’s boyfriend’s cat. Stupid allergies. I think I look like a crackhead. Eh. I decided to give up on dating and become somewhat independant and relatively successful.

Apr 7th

I keep having vivid dreams about being in various hostage situations. Wonder what that’s about.

Apr 6th

“I no longer believe in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”

Apr 4th

If you

Tell me I’m insensitive Tell me that I need to be more emotionally available Wake me up at 5:30 am to tell me about a dream you had Tell me not to go to the club, because you’re not comfortable with it Make it clear that you’re not comfortable with me talking to guys Are unnecessarily clingy Tell me that you think you love me after two weeks Jizz in your pants I WILL...

Apr 4th

I think I hate my father now.

Let’s recap tonight’s events. Keep in mind that my brother’s poor girlfriend had to sit through all of this. My dad recieved a call from someone on his side of the family saying that my Nana is in the hospital. He sits on his bed, hardly talks to us, and refuses to go visit her. My brother and I try to convince him to, because we know he’ll regret not going. I still...

Mar 29th

All I have to say is

LOL, good luck

Mar 25th

This day can go to Hell.

Today I went shopping with my friends. One of them informed me that my most recent ex has been asking her to hang out. She ranted about how she thinks he’s a loser and she’s not into him, but said she told him that she would ask me if she can hang with him. She said this in a, “I don’t really want to ask you, because I don’t want to see him” way. Except...

Mar 24th

lol

You try to tell me where I can go, and I’ll drop you so fast you won’t even know what hit you.

Mar 23rd

Mar 17th

zedisdeadbaby: I don’t know how it is possible that I work so much and am still so fucking broke all the time That’s the power of Seabra. We’re all grossly underpaid.

Mar 17th

1 note

That feeling you get when you were right all along, only you wish you weren’t.

Mar 9th

Hello, Tumblr.

Today is Friday, pay day. It’s a natural reflex for me to be excited for payday, though I shouldn’t be, because I still have like six more weeks of giving my mom 100 dollars. I think it’s six, I’m not even sure really. So, I’ll have like six dollars this week again probably. Yay hour cuts! Kind of glad though, apparently the lady who makes my schedule thinks I’m...

Mar 4th

Confessions/Random Facts/Observations

I have commitment issues, as far as relationships are concerned anyways. Spelling and grammar matter to me. I’ll probably think you’re stupid if you speak like an Amazon. I judge you if you’re a carbon copy of someone else, and think you’re not. I secretly have a slight paranoia that someone uses the same toothbrush as me and thinks it’s theirs. I hate hurting...

Mar 2nd

Mar 1st

This whole paying 100 dollars a week for school is bothersome. I have seven dollars until Friday woo

Feb 26th

I have been so ridiculously stressed lately. My back is forever in knots and I’ve been having vivid nightmares. I bought some sleeping pills because I can’t handle waking up to my family doing stupid annoying shit all the time. Last night they worked all right. I realize now that I am not, nor have I ever really been fit for a relationship. Not a serious one anyways. I’m not...

Feb 24th

It’s not often that I wish I was capable of crying, but I think I need to now. I feel like I have so much built up inside of me and I don’t know what to do. I let things roll off of my back and don’t correct people when they make hasty assumptions about me. I don’t care about much of anything. And then there are those days where I do. There are days when I wish my parents...

Feb 19th

This story’s old but it goes on and on until we disappear.

Feb 19th

Andrew Papineau: yeah….. this holiday FUCKING... →

whatthefuckhappenedtous: yeah….. this holiday FUCKING BLOWS, im sick of being alone, im sick of not having anyone its fucking pathetic and oh i how much i fucking hate everyone who has someone and takes it for granted; people who take love for granted should be fucking shot dead. last week i lost the only thing in this… I read it.

Feb 15th

I was going to post my irrational fears on here, and then decided that they were probably too weird for the public eye.

Feb 8th

Feb 6th

4,227 notes

I remember the second one! I was supposed to hang out with a friend, and he said his car couldn’t make it far so we were going to meet somewhere else. We get to the threatre and it’s outside. A bunch of my other friends are there. I don’t remember what happened to the first friend, but I end up with the others. There’s a group of weirdos hunting people down. Sort of like...

Feb 4th

Vivid Dreams.

Lately, I’ve been sleeping a little bit better. I’ve been reaching REM, and I’ve been having dreams. Except they’re super weird and creepy. I’m going to write them here, just to keep a record. First: All I can remember was driving down Mendon with my mom and I think my dad and sister. I’m in the passenger seat for some reason. We’re in bumper to bumper...

Feb 4th

I have given you a million chances to be friends. You never get it right. You tell everyone everything I say, and you always ditch me. I am finished with youuuuu.

Feb 4th

Someone move into a shitty apartment with me please.

Feb 3rd

Why snow days are awful.

Now that I’m not in school every week day for six hours, I don’t get excited about snow days, because I only have class on Mondays and Wednesdays. I enjoy being home when no one else is, so when everyone’s home because of the snow, I want to jump into oncoming traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike. Mom blasts her gospel music and talks to her man friend on the phone. Dad gets...

Feb 3rd

I cannot wait until everyone gets out of high school and realizes that the things that affected them oh so much aren’t a big deal anymore. There are millions of reasons for someone to hate me, pick one, instead of not liking me because you’re jealous of me or because I dumped you. Honestlyyyyy. I’ve been living for myself. I haven’t dated anyone. I haven’t done...

Jan 27th

Mom, we all know you’re talking to that guy you like when you turn your gospel music up super loud before bed. Dad, when you slam shit it fucking terrifies me. My small space is getting smaller.

Jan 26th

Anyone else would hate you, and I can’t help but want to make you like me.

Jan 24th

I’ve been surprising myself lately and doing things I wouldn’t have done if I had been prepared, if I knew what was coming. And you know what, I don’t mind. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’m relaxed, and I like it.

Jan 21st

Mortaring your earholes shut in a rush with wet coke In a Starbucks bathroom with the door closed On booze, I’m left in residue and confused, Like the first time you used soft water. Down on my luck, unaware, Like Houdini when the last fist struck. If I’m sinking and laughing at something sunken in, I am.

Jan 20th

I just outgrew everyone. Sorry.

Jan 19th

I’m becoming increasingly better at reading people. Most of the time we don’t even need to talk.

Jan 16th

Congratulations,

you officially lost me, he said. Wasn’t that why I broke up with you? To lose you?

Jan 13th

I do what I want. Fuck judgement.

Jan 7th

I realized

that I sort of handle most things very quietly now and don’t share my feelings. It sounds bad, but I’m not so sure that it is.

Jan 1st

screwed it up again

Dec 30th

Sometimes

I’m truly ashamed of what I have become.

Dec 20th

Andrew Papineau: really awkward show last night up... →

whatthefuckhappenedtous: laurahew: whatthefuckhappenedtous: really awkward show last night up in newport, also mike is the worst fucking driver i have ever seen, almost got everyone fucking killed literally like 5 inches away from hitting a car on the highway never seen so many people close to death; but i was lucky, i was in tanners car. I got my moks… I seem to recall you judging me for...

Dec 10th

3 notes

Andrew Papineau: really awkward show last night up... →

whatthefuckhappenedtous: really awkward show last night up in newport, also mike is the worst fucking driver i have ever seen, almost got everyone fucking killed literally like 5 inches away from hitting a car on the highway never seen so many people close to death; but i was lucky, i was in tanners car. I got my moks… I seem to recall you judging me for wearing mocasins :( hahaha

Dec 8th

3 notes

Does anyone else start singing Dashboard by Modest Mouse in their head when they see the Dashboard link on Tumblr?

Nov 22nd

Are you afraid to say what you want to, tell me you want to?

Nov 16th

I need some meaning I can memorize.

Oct 28th

I discovered that

The hospital is not a fun place to be until 5am. However, it’s awesome cause no one else is there. Win.

Oct 24th

Indifference is key.

Oct 16th

I realized

that I have acquired a large ammount of aquaintences, and have very few friends now. I never thought I’d say it, but I think I prefer it this way, it’s more my style. If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?

Oct 10th

I absolutely hate it when people try to make me feel bad for them.

Oct 7th

At approximately:

2:28 a.m. : I went to sleep. I was pleased. 6:37 a.m. : I was awoken by my mom using her voice as an alarm clock for my sister, and then was kept awake by their pointless conversation. They were in two different rooms. I was not pleased. 9:17 a.m. : I was awoken again by text messages. Neither pleased or displeased. 1: 46 p.m. : I was awoken YET AGAIN by a phone call from a...

Oct 6th

I don't think

that I like anything quite as much as being warm.

Oct 6th